Ms. B. Discussions and Reviews

 Earlier this week my faith in people was restored. Seven years ago, my mother and I moved back to our hometown. At the time, life was a little crazy to say the least. We had to put a lot of our stuff in storage. Including photo albums, my high school years books, Wall art and other things. At one point my mother called the company to see if she could at least get our personal belongings out of storage. The sentimental items. We both could care less about any of other other stuff. Didn’t have enough money at the time to get everything. The woman my mother spoke with at the time was a real bitch. One of those people who love their job too much and whatever little authority they have. She did not want to reason or compromise. It was all or nothing. So after years of being upset that I was put in the situation of losing all my childhood memories and pictures, I decided to let it go. It was not worth it to resent my own flesh and blood. It took time but, I eventually came to terms with the fact that I would never see my pictures and yearbooks again.

That was until earlier this week. A man from the moving company called my mother out of the blue. Asked if she still wanted to get her personal items. There was three boxes of it. The rest of the stuff they sold. He did not want to throw these boxes away until he at least tried to contact the owners. When I got the good news, I almost cried . It was as if I was getting a big part of my past back. Old pictures of all four of my grandparents. Cousins, aunts and uncles. Some family members who have since past on. Both my mom and I never thought we would get that kind of call after so many years have past. It was a good feeling to know there there are still good people out there. We met with the man a couple of days later. He is truly a sincere person. Made a note to self to say a prayer for him and his family that same night. Thursday is when we brought the boxes home. Since then I have been looking through all the photo albums. I have so much to sort through. Definitely not complaining! It’s funny how life works sometimes. The lesson I learned in this is, no matter how attached you are to some”thing”, it does NOT define you as a person. Sure I would have missed all the photos but at the same time, I kept on living.

 Ah yes that is the question. A perfect opportunity to get your groove on presents itself to you but you do not take the bait right away. Is it pride? Maybe your own morality? Perhaps you would like more than the occasional romp? Maybe you are craving intimacy. Whatever the case is, something is making you question this seemingly easy opportunity to get your freak on.

On that note, you take a step back and consider the pros and cons.

Pros

1. The chemistry between the both of you is intense at times.
2. You get along well. Find the same things funny and can talk about anything.
3. This person makes an effort to make plans with you. In the near future and at times months later.
4. Single and quite available.

Cons

1. The person is 6 years younger than you.
2. They are still “finding their way”.
3. They do not have a place of their own.
4. Good relationship material if you were in your early 20’s. Or is that #1 again?

 Both pros and cons have 4 points. Which ones mean the most is what matters. I guess the bigger question is how much do you value the friendship? If you do not value it so much then going for just sex should be easy. Even though the other person may get attached. If you do treasure this friendship then keeping it platonic seems like the logical thing to do. Easy to say when you are craving a roll in the hay.

 It’s funny how meaningless conversations get you thinking. At least they do for me sometimes. This one is thanks to one of my Twitter friends, @chneux. Feel free to follow him if you like. He re-tweeted one of his friend’s tweets. Now if you are not familiar with Twitter, you must be lost on the language I’m using. For those that don’t understand, basically he re posted a post that one of his Twitter friends originally posted. By doing so, anyone that follows him can do the same, or reply.

The original post said, “someone re-gifted a bottle of gin. I was upset because of the re-gift.”

I replied, “re-gifting alcohol is fine with me. I’ll take it lol.”

Which made me wonder if there are any other gifts that I wouldn’t mind getting as a re-gift. Alcohol is OK with me as long as the bottle isn’t already open. If it is, then that is just ghetto! As far as I know I’ve never received a re-gift. Say you were the giver. All you have to do is act like you looked high and low to find the perfect gift for me and I wouldn’t know the difference. If you are not going to put any effort into actually getting an original gift then at least put in the effort in making it not seem that way.

To those that know me, you can re-gift your alcohol and give it to me anytime. Even if you straight up tell me you did, I’ll still drink it ha-ha.

Is re-gifting unacceptable to you? What would you accept as a re-gift?

Can a straight single man be just friends with a straight single woman? It is one of the questions that come up over and over again. Most guys I know will give me the objective answer, no. How many people of the opposite sex have you spent a lot of time with and either you or the other person did not develop feelings? Maybe not enough feelings to be in a relationship but, certainly sex.  

On the other hand there are exceptions to the rule. It has happen to me before a couple of times. Me and a guy were strictly friends. We hung out a lot, talked on the phone. Went to each other for advice. Nothing ever happened sexually. Neither were there any hints. According to how I saw things that is. Maybe there were hints but, I did not notice them.

The question of, can women and men be just friends came to mind because of some recent events. I am not a guy but I don’t believe I’m naive either. So guys, if we are friends and I say to you, yea you can come over and chill. We are both bored and just feel like hanging out. Why ask me if I mind that you have some scruff on your face? (You have that Justin Timberlake look going on and need to shave.) Or why tell me that you are just going to wear sweats? Why would I give a shit? Your face will not be rubbing against any part of my skin and my house is not a 5 star restaurant. Comments like those from “guy friends” put me on alert. To me that means you have some kind of interest in me other than friends because you feel you need to impress me in some way. Am I wrong?

Looks like I am going to have to cool it on the hanging out at my place or his. Really not trying to go “there” with this guy. Friendships were much easier when boys and girls would run from each other from fear of catching cooties.

Speaking of back in the day….

The hardest job in the world would have to be of a single mother. You don’t get paid for it. You can’t walk off the job. Sometimes you don’t even have any co-workers to assist you. Being a product of a single mother, I can see how difficult your life can be. When I look back, I don’t know how my mother did it. The thing is that it does not have to be hard. You are not alone. My mom had a lot of support from family on both sides.

For those of you that are seeking support and reside in the Montreal area, I invite you to discover the group, I Know I Can.The group was established by a single mother, Charlene McFarlane. With her leadership mentality, she found a way to showcase her skills within the community.

Are you determined, open minded and supportive? Then this group could be for you. Meetings and workshops include helping you to establish and commit to short and long term goals, discovering what it takes to be successful and more. With like-minded individuals surrounding you, it is inevitable that you will succeed as a single parent. You are some of the greatest teachers in history. With hard work and positivity the world has a lot to benefit from you. To get more support in your life or if you would like more information, email Charlene at iknowican2@gmail.com . If you are not in the Montreal area, I encourage you to take it upon yourself and be a leader in your own community.

Below are a few quotes regarding mothers and parenthood.

-The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

-When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

-A man’s work is from sun to sun, but a mother’s work is never done.  ~Author Unknown

-God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.  ~Jewish Proverb

-Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.  ~Oprah Winfrey

-Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.  ~Haim Ginott

-There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.  ~Chinese Proverb