Jul 26 2009
Initiating The Conversation-Relationship Killer?
Ladies, you’re dating a guy, everything is going well. You enjoy each other’s company. The dates are fun. He calls when he says he will. This is the beginning of a budding relationship. The question is; are you in a relationship? Women have a tendency to want to put labels on everything. It makes us feel secure so we know where we stand. If there is no label, then we will be contemplating about what the deal is. It’s just how we are. For the most part anyway.
I don’t think you always need to initiate that talk. The one where you come out and ask the guy you’ve been dating if the two of you are going anywhere. Guys get so freaked out about this. As long as things are going well with you, they don’t really think about the label in the beginning. Once you bring up the talk, the chances of him saying right away that you are in a relationship are very slim. They will talk their way around it. Then you feel like you’re not on the same page. You question how you feel about him. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
First of all if you don’t want to know the answer, don’t ask the question. Period! On the other hand if you DO want to know, this is what you can try. Instead of asking him where this is going, don’t ask him anything. Go about your life as normal. Since you’re not technically in a relationship yet, go out with other guys. Chill with your guy friends, continue those wild girls night out. If a guy feels he is yours, he will let you know. Being around other guys and behaving as if you’re single (because you still are) will give you a good indication on if he has claimed you yet or not.
This can only work if you have been dating for a few months. If you are in a on again, off again relationship then forget the above advice and just come out with it. At this point you need to know. Or make the decision yourself.
I have tried this tactic a few times myself and it holds true each time. Guys am I right? Ladies have you done this yourself?
